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Sometimes I watch the news, others I wonder why things are classified as it…

Laptop "Planking"

I, like no doubt a number of people, am befuddled by the latest fad.  It’s called “planking”.  I think the best description of what it is comes from my friend Aga; “Lying stiff and motionless face down in weird places while someone takes a pic.”  Seriously, this is what is the latest fad.  *head shakes*  Clearly, having a Wii/PS3 (or are they at  4 already?)/latest computer toys/scooters/iPad/iPhone et al isn’t enough for the younger generation anymore, they now have the urge to lie stiff and motionless in weird places.

And now for the sick humour of the situation: there have been a couple of deaths attributed to “planking” – ergo, those young people are now officially lying stiff and motionless in a weird place.  I doubt however they’ll be photographed, as I imagine their families will take a very dim view of cameras at funerals?

"Planking" on a roof

People are loosing their jobs over “planking” (see here) and even in that article there’s already people ready to make a massive buck off it.

“…Slater and Gordon, one of the nation’s leading workplace law firms, said planking alone should not be grounds for sacking and employees could potentially sue for unfair dismissal.”

Poor widdle diddumses, they did something against the workplace rules and they shouldn’t be fired?  Welcome to the real world kids.  Reality Slap!  It’s harsh, innit?  You goof off and you lose your job that pays for your souped up car that has a stereo that can be heard all the way across town.  Might make for some quieter evenings for your neighbours.  And all because you had the urge to lie stiff and motionless face down in weird places while someone takes a pic.  Bet you regret it when you can’t go cruising down the main street on Friday night.

Whilst I’m on the topic of “news”…
Earlier this week I came across a news report of a mother who allegedly injected her 8-year-old daughter with botox.  Seems the child was a junior beauty pageant contestant and that was the reason.  Anyway, just today, up comes the headline  “Botox Mum Story a Hoax”.  Oh, really?  Seems that after the authorities got involved earlier in the week, removing the child from her mother’s care, the mother has reconsidered her “story” and has now

“…said in Court that British tabloid The Sun gave her $200 to pose as “Kerry Campbell” and read a script for the story “I Give My 8-Year-Old Daughter Botox…”

Uh huh.   You accepted a piddling $200 for this piece of stupidity?  Clearly,  dumb arse is something this woman has a degree in.  What parent in their right mind would a) accept money for this?, b) actually agree to do this?, c) not expect repercussions?, and; d) not expect those accused of paying her to come back with “no we didn’t!”?     Reality Slap!  Poor mommy made a boo-boo by taking money from the nasty newspaper to pretend to be doing something bad to her sweet little girl.    You did a seriously dumb arse thing (be it truth or fiction), lost your child to the rightfully concerned authorities and now ‘cry wolf’?  Get a grip woman.  You made the bigger mistake in taking the alleged money and playing the role.  I hope they throw the book at you for fraud as well as for anything else they can find.  That $200 is starting to look really measly now, innit?

And the TV people wonder why there’s a bunch of us who are fed up with what they’re seeing…

TV Magazine Show "Today" host "planks"