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"Dragons Wine" (c) Jane Starr Weils

This is day 21 of my 30 Days of Truth blogs.  Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?


I’d find out the details and depending on the fight, I’d either visit, send a get well card or ignore the situation.  I know, I’m cold.  Stone cold.

If it was simply that we were both having a crappy day and we both needed to get the shit off our livers, then it’s a visit (either in hospital or at home) the following day.  Always the following day, because as anyone who’s been in an accident can tell you, that first 12-24 is a little wobbly and facing someone you just told to get stuffed because they’ve gotten on your last nerve for the day isn’t really going to help that.  Besides which, best friends actually do have these kinds of fights occasionally simply because they feel safe enough to do so.

I feel that if something’s hurt both of us enough that we’re not at that moment communicating – kind of having a couple of weeks out to calm down –  it’s not a good plan to stir it up when one party isn’t in any state/condition to deal with it.  That’s the card sent.  Then it’s up to the receiver to acknowledge the thought.  Again, best friends have these fights too, it’s part of being friends.  If the friendship survives the fight and then the calm-down, it’s worth the initial sting.

Then we have the ignore level. Which is reserved for fights of proportions that have hurt either or both parties very badly and that will take more than a couple of weeks to get over.  Those fights that hear “you’re not my *insert relationship here*” being said between family members;  the fights that have “Keep your hands off my stuff/man/money/job”; the fights that have one person using something asked in confidence thrown back at them as indeed being something they needed to be concerned about… Yup, those ones.  The fights that take a lot more than “sorry” to fix.  For me personally, I think expending my energy on feeling pity for people that have gone to those lengths to ensure they hit the jugular is energy wasted.  Better to improve my own driving habits/skills.

There you have it.  My 3 takes on the one scenario.  And yes, I’m a pretty crap friend to have if I’m pissed with you.