This is day 5 of the 30 Days of Truth blog series. Day 5 – Something you want to do in your life.
Something I want to do in my life? If you’d asked me this when I was about 14 or so, I’d have told you I wanted to be a rockstar! 7 years of vocal training later, and I’m more suited to musical theatre or light opera LOL!
But as for something I want to do in my life now, I’m not as certain as I was back then. I could be trite and answer with “I want to have the perfect job for me that lets me have a career as well as be happy in my work”. I could answer with “I want to make my husband and my mother-in-law happy and have a baby” – but that’s more something for them if I phrase it that way. Don’t get me wrong, if we can have a child, it would be a nice change!
Well, since it’s all about Truth, here it is. I want to be content. That’s what I want to do in my life still. I’m close at times, but then I wind up self-sabotaging things (see Day 1’s entry) and then contentment goes by the wayside. Other times I’ve been close and life takes a sudden and often unpleasant turn. Again, contentment zooms by on the other tracks.
I can hear you asking what defines content for me? I wish I knew. There’s no one set of standards for contentment, happiness, love, life etc for everyone. What makes the Dalai Lama content might well drive me round the twist! Given I admire the Dalai Lama, it would have to be something really dire to do that though. I’m not sure of when I’m content, or at times even when I’m happy, so setting the criteria for either would be a pointless thing – the standards would always be changing with the ebb and flow of life, the universe and everything.
So, I want to do contentment in my life? I might as well ask for the moon in a teacup. I could manage to be content with my life as it stands, but it’s an almost fundamental part of the human psyche to want more, to have something better than what they have currently.
I could be content to spend 8 hours a day on my own whilst my husband is at work, with most of my few real friends overseas, with no job other than the housekeeping role I have currently. But I’m not. I’ve spent too long actually being employed to take forced inactivity and lack of finances for even the simplest things well. I’m an indifferent housekeeper at best – I signed my name on the TV cabinet today and told myself to dust tomorrow for Goddess’ sake! And, as I have said in a couple of my other postings, I’m a bitch, so friends either have known me since we were 6 years old or they’re made of cast iron. It’s probably why I can count them on one hand. But you know what? They’re the friends I trust almost more than I trust myself.
All that baring of soul aside;
- I want to one day take my husband around New Zealand. He likes what he sees, and I’d love to show him around some of the places I knew and grew up in.
- I want to have a child. It will be a new adventure, raising and loving a whole new human being that’s a blend of myself and my husband. Yes, I’m aware that children don’t come with instruction manuals.
- I want to one day be able to stand at Stonehenge. I won’t care if I’m 1km away, it’s still close enough to see it and say I stood there.
- The pyramids of Egypt. Want to do those. I might have to invest in one of those cooling vest things you see the athletes/sportspeople wearing in hot climates though. Or maybe develop a swimming pool suit – imagine walking about in hot climates in your own personal swimming pool suit! Hmm, maybe there’s a fortune to be made there??
- I want to be able to stand on the beach before or after a storm and not be terrified out of my mind by the ocean.
Something I want to do in my life? I have a list…