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(c) Dragon on the Payroll 2010

This is day one of the 30 Days of Truth blog series.  Day 1 – Something you hate about yourself

Something I hate about myself…let me count them all…

I think the prime one however is my almost obsessive ability to self-sabotage.  I make marvellous plans in my mind for how I will get out and take a walk/do the housework/weed the yard/mow the lawn/write something and within a few hours of those plans, I’ve parked myself in my comfy chair and am instead playing about on Facebook or reading a novel instead.  I tell myself (and with a degree of annoyance or anger in my tone) that I should be doing the thing(s) I had planned and then parking in my chair, but then I simply go “nah, too hard to do now” and let it slide.

I’ve done this with very necessary lifestyle changes for my health.  I’ve done it with trying to find a new job when I was miserable in the one(s) I had.  I’ve done it with something as simple as getting myself some breakfast – plans for toasted English muffins with delicious strawberry conserve went out the window.  Yes, that’s how bad it is!

Some might call it laziness.  Others, procrastination.  But if you look at it realistically, it’s self-sabotage – what else can you call not doing something that can have a profound effect on the rest of your life?  My “too hard basket” is full and overflowing; in fact, it’s more a 7 storey building full.  And the irony?  My plans to work my way through all those things…too hard to do.

Something I hate about myself?  Self-sabotage.